Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Psalms 91:1-4 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.91.1-4.NLT
When I tell you that I am a miracle by God’s grace I am not just saying those words, I mean them. The shelter of the Most High is where I dwell and with all the confidence in me I can say I have been sheltered.
2019-2020 were not the easiest of years, in fact they were by far the hardest emotional, mental and physical years I had ever experienced in my existence on earth. However, they were MOST DEFINTELY TRANSFORMATIONAL to say the least. After 2019 I viewed God with the love that he really is, I had a new found meaning and understanding of his SHELTER for his children and that righteous could neverr be forsaken. I UNDERSTOOD PROTECTION and SAFETY and I knew the HEALING POWER AND VIRTUE of JESUS CHRIST. This not a mere focus on what went wrong but instead this is the testimony of how the SAVING, HEALING, TRANSFORMING POWER AND PROTECTION OF GOD ALMIGHTY preserved my life. This is a story of the ROCK OF AGES who we can wholly depend on in the deepest, darkest, scariest of times. This is to TESTIFY that I am HEALED AND DELIVERED only by the GRACE AND RESSURECTING POWER OF GOD. This is the story of healing, this is my testimony:
I had never experienced life or been faced with the effects of death around me like I had within the year of 2019 -20. I can safely say it was God’s hand and his hand alone that protected me through what I consider a miracle.
These years would transform my spiritual life completely, I am now in a safe space, a new place and place of new and exciting beginnings. I’m in a place I never thought I’d been and it took place after what I describe as a string of life changing events.
2019 began the year where I had just started to come out of my comfort zone and join the Vacation Bible School, which I will refer to as VBS, worship team at my church for the second time in a row. I was apart of a dance team before and I sang a couple of times in worship as well as within the choir ministry but this year at VBS was different. Ministering at VBS meant I couldn’t hide behind anyone, I was in the spotlight and I would have to open up more and be confident in sharing my gift.
I am an introvert at times but there are select moments where I do in fact pull my energy from those around me and I come out of my shell (in very few and select moments). My extroversion or boldness really just depends on the given circumstance and the atmosphere I am in. Therefore, it was a step to take in joining the VBS team again because I knew this year would have been different, I sensed that my time had come to come out from behind the shadows and sing. Of course I didn’t want to, since I sang on the worship team before, I decided this year I wanted to be a dancer (my comfort and safe zone). I thought, if I didn’t have to lead a song I could atleast minister in dance. I wanted the easy way out and I most definitely did not want to be in the spot light.
I took the opportunity to audition for the dance team and I did my best, I successfully got on and it was time for preparation at VBS for the week of camp ahead. Rehearsals always went well and I began getting the hang of it. During my time before VBS began, it hit me God spoke to me and told me to fast. He told me to get into fasting to cleanse myself from what I felt i was facing at the time: I felt I sought too much attention, I was also struggling with perfectionism and thinking if I wasn’t cleansed enough I would not be worthy to be apart of ministry. I was also struggling with listening to God and I felt as though God wanted to transform me from my old ways of thinking and behaving so he told me to fast.
Now please bare in mind this is a candid post, I will bare all I have experienced as long as you read with the understanding of the place I was in mentally and having the understanding that within a place of surrender in fasting and otherwise comes the strongest attacks of the enemies around us. Bear this in mind as I unfold what I have experienced in my time of fasting.
Also bear in mind a fast is to be taken when you know God has told you to and when you know your life needs this time of cleansing as guided by the Holy Spirit. It is to be taken to God in prayer FIRST! It is always a blessed thing to fast because wholeness, renewal and deliverance comes many things have been birthed through fasting and prayer but always seek God’s guidance and remember the enemy will always seek to attack you because you have made this decision. STAND FIRM. Always listen to God and fast AS HE LEADS, it is 100% more worth it. These posts are not to deter anyone from fasting but to testify how God has kept me through the trials I have faced within this particular fast.
Backstory:
My time leading up to this particular fast that would change my life for the better and yet still would prove to be the most trying of times began during my final years at the University of the West Indies. During my time at the University my relationship with God was definitely tested and tried, he allowed me to come into contact with unbelievers and the NUDGE to witness the gospel was placed on my heart. Not only the gospel but more specifically word of encouragement that The Holy Spirit placed on my heart to share. It was during this time I realized I was called to the ministry of encouragement. God gave me a heart for others, I knew this because he would allow me to feel the weight of other’s emotions in prayer as well as in select times allow me to discern when someone I was around at a specific point in time was hurting, needed prayer or had some type of burden and needed a word of encouragement. I knew it was GOD because often times approaching said people that God would highlight to me, would often result in them saying they needed to hear those words and asked more or less how I knew that they needed these words. As my discernment grew I became more confident in sharing God and encouragement with non believers and other random university students I met around campus. Along with the growth of my confidence in sharing encouragement and prayer, I felt as though I needed to begin fasting. So I started these fasts, nothing extensive or extremely brutal. They were to start out as fasts that led me to transformation but quickly turned into rituals of not eating for a period of time. Yes I prayed and sought God’s face but apart of these fasts also turned into a ritual for me and soon led me to the point of feeling guilty for eating, not eating made me feel as though I was sacrificing something for God and eating made me feel like I wasn’t.
Now in understanding this background it was around the time of VBS 2019 where I decided to fast again but this time not in the same ritualistic way I did every other week or so but more so with the intention to really seek God and pray. This began my venture into what I initially called my 40 days of prayer and fast. I felt it in my heart to do 40 days after watching a Youtube video of how a lady was completely transformed after her 40 day fast. I entered into this fast with pure intentions however I lacked the knowlege of the intense spiritual attacks, demonic encounters, and all the physical health risks that I could possibly face. In my spirit I still felt to do the 40 days, so I initially tried to negotiate with God if this was really how many days he wanted and yes, I felt like I should. So I did. Now, I don’t necessarily doubt that it was God leading me into a fast or in the fasts I have done before BUT what happened within these fasts where my spirit became vulnerable and open to DIFFERENT SPIRITS AND VOICES is where a shift took place.
Continue to part 2…